The Conversation
by geradsredskittle666
Summary: Sometimes we all need This Conversation...someone to tell us its okay and that we have value. Pairings: 11/Rory friendship. Warnings: suicidal thoughts, self harm.


The Conversation

Disclaimer: I don't own Dr who, its characters or any related property. I write to entertain and do not profit from this work (or any of mine).

Pairings: 11/Rory friendship

Warnings: suicidal thoughts, self harm

AN: Sometimes we all need This Conversation...someone to tell us its okay and that we have value. I admit I needed it earlier this day...once again writing helps me. Enjoy!

START

The Doctor was getting increasingly agitated.

His usual energy was looking increasingly erratic. Instead of bouncing around like a child, his movements were more random, like he was trying to act his usual way but without any real conviction.

Amy was starting to worry...

He was more distracted than usual. He couldn't seem to keep up with the thoughts in his head. That was usual.

He needed some alone time but between Amy and Rory, he couldn't get the space. He needed to think. To calm his racing thoughts...

Doctor POV:

I glare at them warningly before walking out. I can hear them "whispering". Amy seems concerned that time alone would not be a great idea. Rory agrees but I can feel his concern. He seems to know that I might need some space. Maybe a more gentle hand...

I growl loudly. At myself naturally...why can't I get those damn thought out of my head? Entering my room I slam the door loudly. Expressing my frustration.

I try calming my mind. Finding some peace...some positive fact or emotion to cling to. I can feel Rory enter my room. He smells like worry.

Rory POV:

I find him in his room. He still looks agitated. "Doctor" I start quietly, not knowing exactly what to say.

He notices me and gives me a half smile. "Rory, I'm okay. Go back to Amy." he says softly. His lying though. His not okay.

"Do you want to talk? You might be okay but you don't look it to me. I've seen similar things at the hospital..." I say kindly.

He merely nods and gestures for me to sit on the bed. I expected more resistance. This only worries me more. "I know Rory, I know. I doubt a human could understand though..."he says softly. He sounds flat...sad...not angry though.

"Its not about understanding though is it?" I offer. "Its about having someone to talk to. Helps you arrange your thoughts better." I reply.

He looks surprised. "I suppose your right..." he says approvingly.

We sit in silence. Its not uncomfortable though. He looks at his hands, rubbing his wrists with his finger tips.

Finally he speaks. "I don't want to scare you. You have one last chance to walk away. I won't blame you." he says firmly.

You've already frighted me I want to say but its hardly the time. "I won't go. I choose, of my own free will, to be here. Is that enough for you?" I ask.

He accepts it. "I can't stop thinking. Of it." he says shakily. "I used to...I don't anymore...I haven't in so long but I can't stop thinking." he says frustratedly. Angrily at himself.

"Harming yourself?" I ask.

He seems surprised. "The way you trace the scars on your wrists..." I clarify. "Its not the first time you have done that either."

He looks tired. "Yeah, your correct. I used an old knife I found. Kept it on me for a while. Stored away now..."he admits.

"What else?" I ask. This isn't the only thing bothering him.

"I don't know how to say...its not easy. I don't want pain. Thats not the point of it all...though what is the point?" he says choppily.

I know what he means...I only hope I am wrong. "You want to die. You want to kill yourself" I say sounding detached.

He merely turns away.

Frowning I reach toward him, pulling him into a hug. "I can't tell you what to do. I can tell you that it would break my and Amy's hearts. You matter to us." I say honestly.

I look up to see him looking at me in wonder, tears on his face. How could he be so blind? I smile encouragingly at him. "Do you want to tell me why?" I ask softly.

He hesitates, then nods. I allow him to speak freely...

AN: R and R.


End file.
